I’ve always thought we don’t talk about vaginas enough, sure we talk a whole lot about the punani, pussy, or whatever your term of ‘endearment’ is, but never the good old vagina or vulva. I asked some of my friends and most said pussy comes easier than vagina because its what is used in pornography on the mainstream, and that vagina was too plain, boring and biological. I don’t particularly hate the synonyms to vagina but I don’t love them either. For most of them, I find that they reduce this glorious flower to only a sexual object, and are often intended to be profane, like when DT, said he “grabs women by the pussy” or when after rejecting a man he calls you a “stupid cunt”. It is so much more but by choosing only this sexual or indecent context, we focus on the wrong things and ignore the more important ones. Recently while reading an article on the internet, I was baffled at the number of slangs to mean vagina that exist, many were quite bizarre e.g. cha-cha, beaver, banana basket, pink panther, panty hamster and penis snuggie; and I couldn’t help but think why we must go through all this trouble instead of just saying va-gi-na although Lisa Brown was banned for saying it. But surely, we don’t call penises ‘dangly thingies’ or ‘sex stick’. It is important that we set a certain standard so that when we talk about ‘lady parts’ it carries the intended punch. Herbalists often allude the vagina to a saucepan “okusiliza entamu’, I just recently learnt from a friend that they are talking about some vaginal medicine but we haven’t really understood what for?.
When we don’t come out and expressly name our anatomy, then we have literally ignored it’s existence and can’t understand it. There is power in a name. Ignoring the factual name, we allow for certain myths and a lot of misconceptions to thrive instead of facts. Keeping the vagina out of the conversation, we ignore every other vital thing that comes with it: menstrual hygiene and poverty, fertility, healthy sexual habits, child birth and control, appearances, virginity policing and so many other things. We settle for the anonymous shy status but it is not serving us. We need people to be talking about vaginas more often and most importantly in the right way. People should be talking about the vagina in parliament, the workplace, the hospital, the school, the bosses, the person on the street.
Thousands of girls miss school for up to 7 days a week which equates to 84 days a year when menstruating because the people in power are not talking about the vagina. As of 2019, it was reported that nearly one in every four girls between 12 and 18 years, drop out of school once they begin menstruating. For those that attend school, girls’ absence rates triple from 7% to 28% and during these COVID times, the numbers only go up. Now in an education system like ours, that much time off school definitely affects your grade and we have lesser young girls being empowered through western education. By not talking about Vaginas at home and school, a young girl and boy in the depth of this country still believe menstruation is dirty, a curse and different rituals or sex can stop it, and we end up with a higher statistic on underage pregnancies. Menstrual hygiene and poverty are two huge reasons why we should be talking about the vagina. Our members in parliament are not on the floor discussing how to help those young girls, a few NGOs have tried to help but it isn’t enough. The government should be having vigorous solutions to this problem, I don’t see our budget catering for how to provide pads to the underprivileged and leaders only use the promise to fish votes.
Its not only about availability of safe sanitary towels and facilities. Period Poverty is defined as inadequate access to menstrual hygiene tools and education. The basic knowledge of how and why menstruation occurs is equally important for both males and females. I speak from a somewhat privileged position but the most menstrual education I got in school was how to wear a pad, how to dispose of the used pad and how to effectively make sure the males in my class didn’t know it existed and they were never part of the “talks” while the most my mom did was awkwardly ask whether they’d discussed it with us in boarding school. No one told me why this shit hurt so bad every month and what remedies to try or why everything irritated me and I wanted to snap people’s heads off during my period oh! and don’t get me started on the bloody ass cramps. This is only my experience and imagine what a girl in the deep villages goes through, how they have no answers and no one to comfortably ask about the monthly disturbance. When I asked some of my guy friends about the menstrual cycle, I wasn’t shocked to find that they knew near to nothing on the complexity of the issue, only knew that it happened every month and was “disgusting” to most but they try for their partners. Some even felt that girls exaggerate the whole PMS experience. The plight of males elsewhere is definitely worse. The guys I know, were merely denied the information but could easily access it, children elsewhere don’t even have the chance. This lack of information and excess of misinformation, creates a stigma that makes an already hard situation even harder. In places with the worst period poverty, girls using alternatives to sanitary pads cannot comfortably stay in school during their period, and that’s a problem because God forbid they spot their clothes around their classmates.
When, we don’t talk about the vagina, we ignore the pertinent issue of vaginal health which includes UTIs and STDs, fertility and female pleasure. We fail to avail young girls and women with information on how to keep their vaginas healthy and instead push them to use unhealthy vaginal soaps, creams that have bad side effects to make their vaginas smell like flowers. The Vagina was never meant to smell like cotton candy or deodorant. Deal with it! In extreme cases, girls even opt for surgeries like labiaplasty and many other outrageous solutions. I grew up thinking candida was the only and the worst UTI in existence but otherwise I didn’t think the vagina could “fall sick’’ and so, getting my first yeast infection was truly hilarious. Not even my friends had told me they got these things, because we talk about the vagina but never really about the parts that matter most. I felt like the world was ending, I was the only woman in the world to ever ruin her vagina. After scrolling on the internet for about an hour, I was sure I was gone. I “confirmed” that I had over 20 infections and so many hormonal issues even menopause. I was ready to try some very ridiculous remedies like rubbing yoghurt on my vagina, after all Gabrielle Union had done it. (thank God I did not though)
So there I was staring at my vagjay jay and asking it what had happened, wondering how I would tell my father I needed to see a doctor. The look on his face when I finally asked was priceless, he looked utterly defeated then he awkwardly asked me why but I suspect his first thought was pregnancy. After a doctor’s reassurance and a friend, I healed a lot faster, I wasn’t the only woman to ruin her lady parts, it was a common situation. Every female is entitled to at least two yeast infections in their life time. Now I know better and I hope young girls after me won’t be as oblivious and confused as I was…
When we talk about things vividly and in the right sense, we can understand them better and find solutions. Just like the rest of the human body has been studied and understood, down to the smallest atom, the vagina demands the same attention. The government needs to be held accountable for completely ignoring the issue of period poverty. When Stella Nyanzi, tried to do this back in 2016, she was brutally arrested for standing up for the thousands of unfortunate girls, showing that the government has no regard for menstrual issues.
People have constantly said “sex is a choice, menstruation is not”, and yes, I agree that sexual safety is very important but menstruation is an even more pressing issue. Our legislators and ministers need to be talking about the vagina then perhaps they’ll even understand the simple concept of consent.
Let’s please endeavor and try to donate to pad drives, as women let’s try to buy products from companies that give back to under privileged girls, volunteer with these NGOs and also learn to share information with our male colleagues unabashedly as well as appreciating just how privileged we are to be able to afford sanitary products every month.
For the ladies reading do share your menstruation and yeast infection stories so that we can laugh at the absurdities together. The Gentlemen, if you have any question, they will be gladly answered.
Sending you love.
MIDNIGHT BOTHER 